Blue Wednesday, oh-oh blue wednesday!

I am trying to update this blog a little bit more than usual because I am now done with school and I have a lot of free-time on my hands. So, basically this week blows! I missed work Monday to study for an exam, missed work Tuesday because I felt like crap and had no sleep. I have not been out in almost two weeks so those of you thinking I am just partying, that's not the case. Then on Tuesday night I went to the gym planning to really have a go at it. However, my body let me know really early it had other plans, I was so weak and fatigued really early on. Then a slight cough set-in... I finished up but I have now fallen ill. Yesterday I tried to sleep it off and take it easy, so I stayed inside and did some reading and searching on the internet. I felt continually worse throughout the day and had a little bit of chocolate and some orange soda to feel better. Having promised my roommate stir-fry I got into the kitchen to follow through. I made a nice big wok full of veggies, turkey, and of course the stir-fry sauce. I could not even stomach thinking about eating it and decided instead to just have some white rice with a little bit of butter.
Next, I received my grade in French earlier in the day, an astonishing 8/20 after studying all week for the damn thing. French, at least written French, is not panning out to be my forte.
Then last night there was a Champions League game for European soccer with the hometown Lyon up againt PSV who I think are from Germany. The game was excellent and it went through double overtime with Lyon missing a few opportunities to put it away in the end. Which really ticked off there star Junihno because it forced a shootout, which they lost. The Lyonaiss guys after Junihno looked like they were from a summer camp back home. They had no leg in the shots I guess because they did have the precision and power combination like Junihno. Would have been nice to have the Champions League Vainqeurs while I was here but maybe next time.
So, I also missed work this morning. I woke up with a super-light headed feeling, sore throat, and nagging cough. So I called the school and told the principal that I thought I had a cold or a Spring flu but that if she wanted I could make it. She told me that she would tell the teachers that I was not feeling well and that I probably would not make it and I could come if I was up to it or not if that was the case. I got up to see how I could manage and I almost fell over on my way to the bathroom. Needless to say, back in the bed. If it had been a restaurant I would have been there without an option and been ok I guess. I was happy to go back to bed though. I still feel like crap today after getting up at 2:00pm, yes I said 2:00pm. Very unlike me but I was trying to rest up. I want to get to the gym over the 2 week vacation and really give it hell. Until then I am sipping on Fanta Orange soda and craving some Cambbell's Chicken Noodle or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Why is it when we are sick the most processed shit is what we crave? I cannot remeber craving strawberrys or apples when I am sick. Almost always it is something created in a lab and packaged for the masses. Goldfish, sodas, chips, condensed soup, chocolate, jello, pudding, etc... It seems a little strange to me I guess because it probably worse than everything else that I could have in this situation, but here I am wanting pre-packaged, freeze-dried, powdered, condensed, artificially, frozen, preserved, ready-made...CRAP!
Next order of business is that I may not be back until mid-July now. Fred called me this morning and he wants me to come up to Paris until around the 15th and then he is going to fly back with me to Charlotte. So, Kat and Caya it is not in the books yet, I have to do some serious thinking in the next two days on my plans. I really would like to stay here in France at this point and I wish I had already finished my degree and could set up shop here. I saw the Australian guy get nabbed at the Capital because of asking to see Bush with 2 suitcases at the steps. They are going to through him out of the country for making a point. I think he is brilliant and I am worried about the state of my country of birth. I look out over the Atlantic in my daydreams and I wonder where the place I grew up learning about is? Where are those that stand for freedom? When did "God" become so involved in politics?
I recently read an article about the Day of Silence for homosexual awareness in schools and how the christian ( yes I know it is supposed to be capitalised:) opponents are using some big "Defense Fund" for christians to tell the truth about homosexuality. How it's wrong, yada-yada blah-blah..... It seems to me that two people loving each other is not wrong, but a group of people hating others love is ok for the ultra-conservative christian right.

Is it any more accepetable for Christians to persecute than Muslims, or Jews, governments, or anyone else?

Oh, and why in the hell does every christian tell me that it's the right way to think. As if there is no other option in the Universe, of which Earth is the only planet with life??? Fat chance buckaroos. I am not trying to say that I have the answers, but I know that I don't. Most christians think that they have the answer, it's right, no questions asked. What bible do they read??? King James? I think I am getting too hard on the christians here and need to broaden this whole argument for any religous, state, or cultural ideology. Shit, that puts old US-of-A and Uncle Sam at the top of the friggin list. I better watch my comments or I am going to get a visit from some SS, wait a minute here.... Secret Service-S.S.??? You make the correlation to the next sentence. Is it National Security when SS agents track down an artist for making a political statement in Chicago? Or when they visit a High School in Washington to investigate a student's art for possible threats to the President? I am truly scared that the shock and awe campaign is in the States and not in Iraq. Finally, I read another listing of a 16 year old girl being held in a detention center for wanting to be a suicide bomber. She is being held without an attorney, without bail, without any civil liberties in my opinion. Her parent's are illegal immigrants and she is not a citizen of the US, yet. She was a very well-liked student with lots of friends and tolerant and embraceful of many cultures. A young woman exploring her own heritage and that of her new Nation. She missed an appointment with immigration because she was excited for a school function if I recall correctly, and they arrested her and are holding her as a terrorist, whilst in the process of deporting her parents.

Give us your weak, your less fortunate?

I am going to return to a country that does not resemble the one in my mind when I left, when I joined the Army, when I was told it was the "Greatest Country in the World." I feel isolated and lost, more at home in my host country France than the thought of being back on my maternal soil.

Well, I really went off on a rant there. I am not sure what tipped it off. I think it has been in the making for some time. Since before I left I believe I have been on this road. Someone told me that they would give up liberty to fight terrorism. I say "Give me Liberty, or Give me Death." That is why I joined the Army in the first place. I thought there was some residual value in my country. Now it's a War in Iraq that Americans have become complacent with because why? Noone knows. Or Guantanomo Bay, Cuba? Need I say more?

OK, going to end this now. I miss you all very much, but I am worried I am not coming home. I am coming back to finish my degree and apply for graduate schools and then going to try and find a job or do some travelling around the World and see some things.